Up & Running

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

In York.

It happened.

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

We have the keys for our new house. In fact Katherine has been living there this week, while I'm still back at home sorting out our stuff. Trying to juggle the responsibility of house sitting, moving, ebay deals and preparing work for a gallery next week.
The house itself is amazing, this room here is the second bedroom and soon to be a studio space. The landlord is as far removed from our last as possible, the neighbors are friendly, basically everything has worked out at last.
Only a few more days left before I leave Leeds and become a full time York resident, and I really can't wait.

'til tomorrow

I often think of things to do, just so I don't have to do the things I need to do, which means in english, I am very good at putting things off.
Today I have been avoiding starting to pack for the move. I took over an hour to eat a simple breakfast, I read a newspaper thats over a week old, I spent time on the internet etc. It's not that I'm not looking forward to moving it's just that sometimes if I don't have to do things straight away I'd rather not do them.
I wouldn't call myself lazy. When I have a job to do, I do it, and I make a proper job of it. I even enjoy having tasks to do and being against a deadline. I think the correct term is apathetic. I know what needs to be done but I still don't do it.
Although an argument for why I don't mind being the way I am is the things I achieve in these 'moods'. Today I have taught myself new methods on Photoshop with the help on the online guides. Other times, when some people consider me to be wasting time, I'd say I am learning. The internet is a good example of this. Hours can go by and maybe I don't achieve anything but I learn things I never knew before, so I'm happy.
Of course putting things off means I have less time left to complete the task, which can lead to stress and anger, so it's not all a bed of roses.

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Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

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Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

On a Sunday

Went to York cycle show today, thought I may not make it because I felt a bit rough after the wedding yesterday. Saw bike polo in person for the first time, had a look around the exhibitors tent and avoided the rain.
Hung out with Mike and Vicky and saw his Penny Farthing and a few others in his collection. Got a whole lot of motivation to ride too and build up a 'proper' track bike too.
Tomorrow have an early morning taking my folks to the airport, haven't seen 4.00am in a hell of a long time.

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Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

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Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

Real life is

stranger than fiction.

Yesterday I was informed that my girlfriend's Dad had a good time on the first day of his new job. The job itself involves him traveling around the country to set up a scaletrix type car racing track, for public events, and being commenter on the races that happen. Different to say the least, but the best part of it is his new work mate is a look-a-like for the Finnish Formula One driver Mika Hakkinen. He travels the world doing appearences! Even better my girlfriend's Dad looks a lot like Tony Robinson (off of Time Team etc) so was picking up tips on how to get into the business.

So cool.

Bigger, Better, More expensive?

I've done my zines for a year now. It was a goal I set for myself, but I was never in the game just for the money. In fact the price I charge means I barely (or rarely) break even on each issue.
However I can't continue this way. Today I've been crunching the numbers for my latest project. There's a large initial outlay but thats the same with everything. The problem comes deciding what to charge, too much and it won't sell but not enough and I'll lose money. I'm a new artist and have little 'history' but the work I produce is technically flawless and produced by hand at every step. Every print is individually printed by hand from negative and usually done in limited quantities. Just when you think it's sorted there's gallery commission to add on top, which the customer may not realise but usually bumps up the final price.
With any new work there's a certain risk, I am confident my work appeals to the public and will sell, otherwise I wouldn't produce it, but asking other's to have the same confidence and then invest money too, is a very new experience for me.

BUY BUY BUY

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

Issue 4 of my zine is ready and available from my etsy shop and other respected establishments.

Good news day

This morning I got a phone call telling me I start work at Royal Mail on the 24th July and then we received a letter from the agents saying our contract is ready to sign and the house is ours.

Not got anything planned today because my car is in the garage going through its MOT and its raining cats and dogs already.

Time is Such a Wasted Luxury.

Making of.
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

recommended

The film American History X has been recommended to me for a long time. Finally got around to watching last night, and now I wish I'd listened and watched it a long time ago.

Dogs die in hot cars

Spent most of today laid by the river at Ilkley in the sun. It looks like I may have got burnt but not badly.
There's a couple of opportunities for displaying my work and I'm very happy with the ideas I have for both. Seeing my work up on the wall at a gallery or somewhere similar makes me proud but also raises a lot of questions in my head. I'm the first to admit I don't know a whole lot about art but to be producing work considered worthy of exhibition amazes me.
Paper Thin zine Issue 4 has a title and is in pre-production, give it a couple of weeks and it should be ready for the shelves.

Bradford Open 07

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

*click image for link to see photos BIG*










My work will be included in the Bradford Open Exhibition and will remain on the wall until August the 19th at Cartwright Hall Art Gallery, Lister Park in Bradford.
Work is available to buy.

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Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

Losing my religion?

Maybe I'm going soft in my old age but I have found myself using a digital camera a little more than usual recently. From 100% anti-digital I found myself shooting more with my girlfriend's Canon 300D when both my money and film stocks began running low. I've never owned my own digital camera and have no desire to get one. The idea was to document little things around me using digital so I wasn't wasting film.
This is how things have continued until I discovered that by setting customised parameters on the 300D I could achieve a low contrast and low saturation image, like I had been trying to get using film.

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

The image above was taken about 20 minutes ago. I took two photos at the time and deleted one straight away because it was too over-exposed. Next I uploaded it to flickr and now I'm using it to illustrate my point here. If I had taken this with film it could have taken anywhere between a day and a month to get the negs back, along with the further scanning and printing costs that naturally occur.
My point is this image is taken because at the moment I like to take photos of unusual light patterns etc. This probably will never be used for anything apart from my personal archive. By using digital to take photos like this I'm saving money that can be spent on other photographic projects.
Also since I no longer have darkroom access and no longer work in a mini-lab I can no longer print my own work. Handing over control to such a huge part of the process makes me sad. I'm lucky to have found Ian, at Silvertone, who I trust more than myself to print my exhibition work but as far as a regular mini-lab for run of the mill colour films I'm constantly disappointed. Whether it be with print quality or a host of other issues I can't seem to find one that I have faith in.
This is more for my benefit than anyone else's but I still love film. The standard of print that can be achieved by using film will never be matched by digital, there's a depth to the image than goes beyond explanation. If an image is never going to be a print though, well then aspects like convenience, speed, time, money.....make digital a more attractive option.

Cafe interior

Cafe interior
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

Cafe Amante is host to my first solo show that will permanently reside in their upstairs seating area.
The Cafe is in Brighouse town centre, on the corner of Bradford Rd and King St, it serves a range of hot drinks, sandwiches and sweets.

Boxes

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

Following the herd.

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

Another step closer.

To moving to York.
To having a job as a Postman.

Just.

When you thought life couldn't get any worse, it doesn't, it gets better.

Nothing but bad luck.

Almost cut my nose off shaving last night, the shop I need to mount my photo wasn't open today and I've broken two pieces of glass out of the frames I need.

On the plus side, went to see 'Zodiac' at Hyde Park cinema. Thrilling.

*

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

old.

old.
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

Its all go

Last night our garden became a crime scene. Two lads had been robbing in Pudsey (about 2 miles away) and been on the run from the police, when they got to our place they decided our hedge would be a great location to dump the goods, their clothes and hide out. First thing we know about it is one police man leading one in handcuffs in the back garden while another is chasing off down the road. All in all it only lasted less than an hour, both were arrested, all the stuff found, the rest of the property searched, a quick explanation to us and then goodbye.
This week my main tasks are getting my work ready to be hung in the cafe in Brighouse, as the opening is this Saturday. Also got more appointments to view houses in York and fix up Katherine's bike.

One step closer

To having a job as a postman.
To earning money as an artist (had my first etsy sale).
To having first solo exhibit (in Brighouse cafe).
To having a comfortable saddle on my fixed gear.
To paying off my student loan debt.

check it

www.paperthinphotography.etsy.com


new work will be added regularly.

Postman Ben

Today I went for an interview with Royal Mail, it wasn't for a specific job but to be put on the waiting list for jobs that are in York. It went ok and the more I think about it the more I wouldn't mind working there. Time will tell.
Yesterday I went to York, for the first time I took my bike. Cycled up from the racecourse, all around town and then back down the river. Got the chance to use my new lock for the first time and test out how my bag feels while riding. Both passed the test with flying colours. Although not sure I can say the same about my saddle, it may be time for an upgrade.

Issues

These thoughts need to be written, I may or may not have touched upon this subject before, again I may or may not choose to break up this impending rant with pretty pictures.

Where do ideas come from?

I don't think there'll ever be an answer to that question. The one most people might say is 'your head' or 'your imagination'. The most important word I've just written is YOUR. This is because ideas should be your own and not somebody else's. Which brings me on to my main point of distinguishing inspiration and copying.

I once went through a stage where I thought up several amazing ideas. Slowly I found out that each one of my ideas had been done before by artists much more famous than myself. As I had not known this previously, I was not a copy, but concluded that I must have the same thought processes as these other famous artists, and therefore I myself must be a creative genius too.

Bathroom.
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

I'm not sure how true that last statement is but the more I expand my knowledge of the art world I find the same ideas being repeated time and time again.
Now, inspiration can be found in everything, and with so many people in the world its not surprising that two people who don't have any connection could think the same thought.
To use myself as an example, I have been fascinated with flat, almost monotone colour photographs recently. A day or two ago, I read a blog about someone the other side of the world who wrote exactly the same thing. Its coincidence but it feels spooky all the same.

House
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

In this age where anyone can post what they do on the internet, poaching and copying ideas is a lot easier to do. I look at flickr everyday, and everyday I am inspired by something I see or read. I do not go out and copy other's work but their image might start a chain reaction in my imagination that leads to a new idea.
This is inspiration. If I went out and took exactly the same shot, then that is copying.

One of my main photographic passions is candid street photos using black and white film in my Holga. I'm not doing anything particularly original but I do what I do my way, and mine alone.

Being original in everything you do can be an impossible dream. One that can do more harm than good to the creative process.

My first sale.

Leeds_Holga
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

This image has given me my first sale from the exhibition in Leeds on Wednesday night. Thank you to whoever bought it.

Birthdays. Same day every year.

On my back.
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Things were meant to kick off on tuesday night, with "This Is England", the new Shane Meddows film, but we got confused and arrived too late to get in. Gutted, however its on tonight again at Hyde park so we're going at the right time tonight. Should be a treat as I've heard nothing but good things about it.
Wednesday, my actual birthday, did the present opening thing. All good stuff. You always get less the older you get but I think the presents get better because they're more often than not useful instead of a toy that you'll get bored off in a week. This year I got the bag (above) of my dreams, a coffee grinder and Ancorman on DVD (maybe the funniest film ever made).
I went to lunch with my parents at a little Italian in Headingley called Salvos and ate far too much but it all tasted amazing. Then at night we went to the exhibition I was a part of in Leeds. It was a very swanky event with most of the audience being barristers or solicitors. It was a great atmosphere, champagne was drank, hopefully everything sold meaning money for artist and charity a like. Afterwards, yet more Italian food, where I had a bit of birthday luck, after we left I realised they hadn't billed us for our drinks.
Wound down today by sleeping off a bad head and then trying to make Brighouse look beautiful in photographs that will be exhibited in the cafe where I'm have a solo permanent 'exhibit'.

bedroom industry

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

How to pass 3 1/4 hours in Leeds (or any town centre)

1. Avoid crowds
2. Walk aimlessly around
3. Visit an exhibition
4. Get a drink
5. Find a bookshop
6. Stalk old people
7. Silently judge people aka people watching
8. Window shopping
9. Avoid street sellers/charity workers
10.Daydream and/or make lists
11.Be thankful your not working

We went and met Jeffrey Brown today at a book signing in Travelling Man. Got three new books, as birthday presents and got each of them signed. He was just as I imagined from the comics...basically cool as block ice.

where everybody knows your name

Yesterday I handed in my work for the exhibition I'm a part of on wednesday night. Everything looks and feels spot on and I'm really hoping it all goes well. One thing that stuck in my mind was that the organiser remembered my name. This may not seem like a big deal but all too often little details that are important get forgotten. A lot of the time I don't accept forgetfulness as an excuse, I consider it to be rudeness. The reason is I don't forget people's names so why should others forget mine. It's a slippery slope judging other's by standards you set for yourself, and one I usually avoid, but now and again I can't help it.
Today I have a meeting with two cafe owners who would like me to hang my work on their blank walls. If everything goes ok both parties should benefit from an arrangement. By looking at the space they have and talking about what each of us want from the opportunity, a deal should be easy to come to.

homeward bound

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

The amount of time we're spending in York these days makes it feel like we're already living there. We have seen a house we love but the person who is renting it seems to be the hardest person in the world to contact.
Both of us have job prospects in one form or another and the more we see the more we like.

This morning felt like I needed to make something. So ended up making a little book. Nothing complicated but blank pages waiting to be filled.

Living Room.

Living Room.
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Martin Parr can kiss my ****

Weekend Update

Biro_wrist
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

I use the word update in the loosest possible way. This weekend has pretty much had it all. Friends, driving, (not enough)riding, snooker, disappointment, sleepless nights, shit films, photo taking and good food.
Pretty short post but it'll end with some cracking advice. Next time your really pissed off find someone and play frisbee. You cannot be annoyed when playing it, and if you are all alone just watch Family Guy.

16/05/1984

My birthday is shaping up quite nicely already and I haven't even made any plans yet. The day before Jeffrey Brown is in town for a book signing, so am going to hit that up. For those who don't know he draws really amazing comic books about his life, mostly his love life, probably hella emo for a lot of people.
On the day itself, I'm in an exhibition in Leeds. Its by invitation only and has a silent auction to sell the work in hope of raising money for charity. All thats left is to fit a nice meal, preferably Italian, in somewhere and I'm laughing.

I always have mixed feeling about my birthday. Some years I view them as another year older and closer to death and some years I just sit back and enjoy them for just being one day in the year when you can do whatever you want.

I followed these two for ages

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

how do you live life, as if life itself was some kind of gift?

Some things can get really complicated. I wish they didn't, but it looks like renting a place to live in York is turning into one of those things. We're stuck in an awkward position. We're trying to get a job in York but because we don't live there it's hard to be considered seriously, but because we don't have a job yet we can barely afford to move to York and then find a job once we're there. See it's even complicated trying to write an explanation.

paper memories

I sometimes feel I ought to be taking more photographs in and around my parental home. It won't be long before I'm moved on to pastures new again and it would be nice to have some paper memories to go over from time to time.
Ok, I've just copyrighted the phrase "paper memories", I thought of it first. But seriously I've been realising that a lot of my reasons for being a photographer or lens-based artist (thats fancy 'fine-art' terminology, don't y' know) centre around capturing moments and memories, so I can look back and see where I've been and the things and people that I knew. I'm not saying this is a bad reason, just that it is my reason.

When one thing ends, another begins

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

I love being busy. When I'm up against a deadline or when tasks are mounting up around me I thrive. When I can work at an easy pace nothing seems to get done.
One thing about my tendency to have an overactive thought process means that I usually consider every little detail in a problem but the downside to this is theres no room for anything else. I have been writing statements, proposals and everything in between for the last few days and just as I finish one lot I find out about more that are due to hand in, in the next week or so, and so the process starts over again.
Another aspect of being busy that I love is that free time becomes so much more enjoyable. Something as simple as playing frisbee becomes priceless instead of a waste of time.
Having tasted success recently I am hungry for more. For every exhibition I am accepted into I apply for two more and every time I hope that it might be the first time someone will buy a piece of my work. A lot of my work is very personal and therefore I don't produce work specifically for the purpose of selling but knowing that there are people thinking the same as me is extremely encouraging.

blue

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

this feels like it was yesterday

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

going nowhere

we're not moving to Sheffield.

how long can inexperience be a reason?

is it not common sense that if someone is lacking experience then it means they will stay that way until somebody gives them a chance? if no-one is willing to take the first step we're all doomed.

believe

This morning I went along to a selection meeting for an exhibition thats happening next month. As usually happens I got pretty nervous and then afterwards had a complete loss of confidence. So much so that I convinced myself I'd blown any chance of being included.
Imagine my surprise when about five minutes ago I receive an email saying the two pieces I took to the meeting have been accepted but also they want two more as well because they would prefer to show a series of four!

I think my problem stems from a basic lack of confidence and coupled with my over-active imagination/thought processes I can talk myself out of pretty much anything. The more I seem to put my work out there, the more positive feedback I receive, yet its hard for me to truly believe. There's a point when modesty does you no favors, obviously arrogance is worse but under-selling yourself can be just as damaging.

All my life people have told me you don't get anywhere if you don't ask or try, gradually I'm seeing how true that is.

blog or blag

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

some days I feel like everything is completely out of focus

unprofessional behaviour

I went for a job interview today, well actually two interviews, one I'm not too bothered about and one I almost got on my knees and begged for the job. By middle of next week I should have a clearer idea of my immediate future.

Katherine's living it up southern style for the weekend, so if weather forcasts are correct for this weekend I think I'm just gonna lay in the garden and soak up the sun (and most likely burn).
Yesterday I went for a ride from Rodley to Saltaire along the towpath. On a fixed gear its more like running than cycling. All told about 15 miles and no pain in legs so must be getting used it again.

just window shopping

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Making plans is asking for trouble. Sometimes they are blown out of the water by something that you never saw coming and sometimes a chain reaction begins from an event so small you hardly gave it a second thought.
Maybe the solution to the whole thing is to live life 'in the moment' but this method also has its drawbacks.
Responsibility pretty much kills any chance of living day to day as more often than not the days have a routine. At the moment I'm longing for some kind of routine in my life, I'm sleeping about 10-11 hours a night, which makes me feel like crap when I get up. For the first time in a while I'm applying for a job that I really, really want.
On a completely random note, I've started making my own iced-coffees at home. They're still in the experimental stages but I'm enjoying the testing.

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

The search begins

Yesterday was our first day examining property in York. We only had a few viewings and the first was a large two bed terrace. Not really what we were looking for and made worse by the over-powering smell of dog piss everywhere. Next was a 'compact' cottage, when estate agents use the word compact it basically means tiny to you and me. Although it was full of character I could have probably stood in the middle of each room and touched all four walls.
We finished up with a couple of flats that were either completely unfinished or too posh. So although we didn't find anywhere we want to live we have a better idea of the areas and kind of place we want to end up in.

I like flying in...

..little paper planes.

http://www.littlepaperplanes.com/artistworks.php?artist=Paper%20Thin

Now!

Elysee - All Photographers Now!
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Paper Thin going worldwide....or at least as far as Switzerland.

Nails in the coffin

Today we might have finally taken the last step in being able to say goodbye to 34 Grange Court. All the bills have been paid, confirmation given to landlords so bond money should be in the post in next few days.

Keeping all my fingers crossed about hearing back from a job in York but at the same time trying not to dwell on it.
I have always wanted to be one of those people that live for the 'journey' in life rather than the 'destination' but recently I've found myself observing life instead of living it. Living back at home has made it feel like I'm on pause. Being comfortable is like being numb, you're aware of the problem but its not hurting enough to do something about it. When we were living alone things got pretty rough but at the same time it felt good to be out there doing stuff.

Spring time has brought sunshine, which means riding! Met Mark for the first time in months yesterday, and although we didn't exactly strain ourselves learning new tricks it felt great to be out rolling again. Didn't feel too bad either this morning so muscles must be starting to remember their job too.

waiting

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

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Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Click the photo to see more

family matters

Green Fingered Parents
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

weekends are meaningless to the unemployed

"....we regret to inform you that your services are no longer required..."

I'm back into the all too familiar situation of looking for a job. I've never been fired from a job before, it came as a bit of a shock but nobody got hurt.

New photos

The Birds
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Click the pic to see more new stuff. There'll be more really soon, i promise, most of them black and white too!

one of those days where its a minute away from snowing and then it does and you wish you weren't walking into town but at home in bed

when titles say everything that needs to be said.

Two Years

Today, me and Katherine have been courting for two years. To mark the occassion we had a night away last night in York. I really love the city and could imagine us living there. The big plus for me is the cycling culture that exists, as its pretty flat I reckon I could cut my car use right down. Its only 30 minutes to Leeds on the train too, so could still commute if a job is too good to turn down. The best thing though is the atmosphere. It feels like being back at art college, a lot of creative people and the freedom to be yourself. I don't have that feeling about Leeds anymore.
I've been busy too making bookwork gifts for various occassions. Today I made my Mother a journal for Mother's Day. Did separate signitures and then japanese binding on the outside, not exactly conventional but looks good and does the job.

i hate sundays

I know its normal to hate mondays but i hate sundays. Traditionally sunday has never been a good day for me, when i was younger it was always the day i did my homework, theres never anything on the telly, nothing interesting is ever open and nothing good ever happens on sundays. Ever.
As you might have guessed i've not had the best day.

accidents can be beautiful

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Empty car parks have always been good to me. Today put a job application in, folded nuff zines and rode my bike. I fancy living in the real world for a while instead of the virtual, i.e get off the fucking internet and get outside.
Book fair tomorrow in Leeds for a change, should be good.

On the wall

Wall
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Visited Batley Art Gallery to see my work hung. Go see it for yourself, if you really like it you can even buy it.

Who loves you baby

I feel like i'm posting this all over the internet this morning but i don't care. This is the first time my work has been exhibited outside a college environment and the first time since college that my work has been accepted for something. I got the news yesterday morning before work and it made a boring day seem a lot better.

Open Art Exhibition 2007

at Batley Art Gallery
until 31st March 2007

Tony Chisholm, Damian Clark, Carol Holleran, Stephen Mann, Keith Murdoch, Tracey Oldham, Dawn Pugh, Ben Rathmell, Carrie Scott-Huby, Helen Thomas, Amrik Varkalis, Ali White ...... and many more!

A vibrant, varied selling exhibition of contemporary and traditional art, featuring 59 works by 32 artists. Work by professional, amateur and emerging artists includes painting, drawing, sculpture and digital & traditional photography.

Batley Library & Art Gallery
Market Place
Batley
WF17 5DA
01924 326021
batley.library@kirklees.gov.uk
                 
Exhibition dates: Monday 5th to Saturday 31st March 2007

Gallery opening times:

Monday          9.30am – 7.00pm
Tuesday         9.30am – 5.00pm
Wednesday    9.30am – 7.00pm
Thursday        9.30am – 5.00pm
Friday            9.30am – 5.00pm
Saturday        9.00am – 4.00pm

The gallery is situated on the first floor within the library building, and is accessible via stairs or lift.

Stings like a bitch

This morning i fell off my bike again, after saying how i'd not fallen off it at all this is twice in two weeks. This time i've sliced my left palm open on some gravel and got a lump on my hip the size of a tennis ball and turning purple fast. I'd like to say i was going 30mph etc when something happened to knock me off but in reality i was right outside my house and skidded into a trackstand, lost balance, clipped in and went down like a ton of bicks. in fact probably more like a dying swan.

The elderly have all the fun

Cafe
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Its always said you should look to the future because the past has gone and cannot be changed. To a certain extent i agree. If you are so caught up in the past you will ever live life to the full in the present, however i don't think the past should simply be forgotton. We've all had times we'd rather never happened or wish we could forget but the happy times, those are the things we should remember, those times will get us through any hardship that we experience in the future. Its easy to forget what we've accomplished in the past in times of stress.
Things from my past i will never forget include things like; those few days spent sleeping in a car in Brighton, my 21st birthday, walking through wallace arnold taking photos and endless summer days where nothing noteable happened but i was just happy.
The future is a bit scary, mostly because we don't often know whats going to happen. At the moment, my life is completely upside down and yet stable. In the next couple of months i'll have some big decisions and i'm looking forward to having to make them. I wish it didn't sound so corny but i want to tell all my friends (and everyone else) reading this that everything will be ok. To people living a life they never thought they would, as long as you're happy keep doing what you want. To people waiting for something to come along, it'll come just be patient.

As for myself, "I am prepared for amazing things to happen."

Workin' 9 til 5 (one day a week)

Having a job is harder than i'd remembered. First days at anything at always pretty scary and when things don't exactly run smoothly it doesn't help. Have to repeat a visit in the morning and then the next thing is an open exhibition entry day on thursday. I have my submissions at the ready. Fill in any spare time with cycling (when not raining) and i'll survive.

I put my shoes on and I think about leaving the house

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Things happen when you get out. In the last week i bumped into two friends that i haven't seen in a while. As it goes i don't know a lot of people and i'm not usually the best at organising get togethers, so i relish the rare times when chance occurances happen.
On monday, i went for some job training and start next week, just mondays for now, as a car photographer. I was nervous but strangely confident that nothing could happen that i can't deal with.
Right now i'm occupied with so many little things, of even smaller importance, basically i'm just floating. I get sucked into things on the internet, start day-dreaming of where i want to go in the world and then realise that two hours have passed.
To get out yesterday i went and tested my new built fixed, to make sure it was running smooth. I'd almost forgotton how curious people will act when they see something they don't understand. I'm used to it but it never gets old.

Damn straight

velo
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

I missed the snow

Looks like i've been in a different climate for the last week as i arrived home yesterday to reports of the snowfall, its not all bad i did the whole snowman thing last year.
So we're back and trying to get into some kind of routine again. I built my bike up again today, photos of her and from the holiday will be on flickr soon.

Shit.Shower.Shave

They say good things happen in three's, so i guess i got mine.
-Moved out of the flat, without a hitch
-Got a job
-Off on holiday tomorrow
Some details, did the 'move' in a couple of days with the help of my Dad and a van. It wasn't the amount of stuff to move that was hard but the six flights of stairs you had to go up and down each time. Thursday morning cleaning took place and the whole flat shined like a new pin. It almost made us forget about the problems but not quite. Friday bond check when off quick and easy, all over in five minutes.
So the job. A couple of months ago i applied for a job doing car photography but heard nothing so forgot about it. Last week i get a call out of the blue to have an interview with the area manager. Nailed that, got the job. Basically in entails weekly visits to car dealerships to photograph their new cars. Should pull in enough to make it a good earning part time and as its regular i could get another job to fill in the rest of the week. Training starts on the 19th and i start for real soon after.
Tomorrow Katherine and i are flying to Madeira for a weeks holiday. Chill out, forget about shit, do nothing and come back ready to go again. Its first time i've had a holiday in the sun, instead of a city break, so i've got my swimming short and sun cream at the ready.
Everything else has just been slotting into place. I painted my fixie frame and forks the other day, a sweet dark blue, they're hardening off over the holiday and then being built up straight after. I woke up at three o'clock the other morning and it was beautiful outside, so i've decided one night i'm gonna get up in the middle of the night take my bike into town and ride everywhere while its deserted.

Fuck It

It's come to something when your Mother tells you to lighten up, buts that the postiton i found myself in the other night. The most important thing though is that she is completely right.
Basically since knowing we're moving out Katherine and I have been making (and changing) our plans on a daily basis. This only further deepens our pessimistic attitudes.
So........from now on we're adopting the motto "Fuck It" and trying to not make so many plans, stop worrying about everything and enjoying life. Starting with a holiday somewhere warm, where we can forget everything thats been going on and come back refreshed.

Accept it......it makes it hurt less

So i've got used to the idea that we're moving out, infact we got the letter yesterday, so our last day is officially the 4th of February 2007.
This is ill-advised, doing near a 100mph on a wet moterway in the dark.....and taking a photo at the same time.

18:45 94mph
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Cleared the cobwebs away by doing half a dozen laps of Hyde Park on my bike in the rain this morning. I don't understand dog owners that don't give a shit when their stupid dog chases me. I mean i one ever caught up with me it's face would probably get ripped off in the back wheel, not to mention the fact i'd eat shit badly.
I've got a few rides i'd like to do in 2007, firstly Leeds to Illkley on the main Otley road, probably before that i'd do Otley to Skipton and sometime Leeds to Bingley along the Leeds-Liverpool canel.

If anyone ever needs motivation, the easiest way is to listen to these three songs back to back.
'My Right'-Screeching Weasel
'A Declaration of Sorts'-Small Brown Bike
'Modern Life'-Strike Anywhere

Try it.

?

Its been no secret that we've been having a few problems with our flat but the events of today surprised even us. We had a meeting with our landlords to discuss a rent reduction but when we got there the first thing we were told was there would be no consideration of a rent deduction because the owner was terminating our contract so they could sell the flat. They're so sick of all the problems they're just getting rid! We have to wait for a formal letter but soon we will have 30 days to get the fuck out.
It feels like we're being dumped on but maybe its a blessing in disguise, start 2007 by getting rid of the main thing that caused so much stress in 2006.

Merry Christmas

To anyone lucky enough to read this.

Jobs

Jobs i've had in 2006:
Photo lab technician at Snappysnaps
Small press publisher (my 'zine)
Documentary photographer (Knotjustus)

Jobs i've applied for/had interview for/enquired about:
Bike courier
Photo lab technician, at two separate places
Documentary photographer, for commissions
Gallery staff, at every gallery public and private in leeds
Car photographer
Doing cleaning at a dry cleaners.
Book slave for waterstones
Librarian
Book slave at borders
Film still photographer
Fire alarm fitter

and the latest receptionist at a tattoo shop.

2006 has not been the best year of my life.

s.n.a.f.u

Recent songs on repeat:
Hot Water Music - Turnstile
Hot Water Music - Paper Thin
Hot Water Music - Radio

Recent Mood: Pissed Off

PaperThin Issue two "Once more with feeling" is now available thru me and should be in OK Comics and Travelling Man in Leeds by monday at the latest.
Enjoy.

Small delay

Typewriter
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Issue two of the 'zine is in production stages right now. I wanted it ready by the beginning of the month but outside factors have caused delays. I have all the photos and just need to write whats needed, i've even (hopefully) bargined a deal for the photocopying so maybe this time next week i'll drop it.
All i seem to be doing these days is waiting around. Today is the third day i'm stuck in waiting for the electrical meter man to call. I'm not earning any money but i'm deffo spending it, its not got to the broke stage yet but i'm having to be more 'thrifty' than ever, not that hard for a yorkshire man i suppose.

New Career Path?

Mark II Golf GTi
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

As a digital camera wielding car photographer. Perhaps.

?

I walk up and down these stairs at least twice a day.



At first it was a chore but now its become normality. I am reminded how of an inconvenience they are every time someone new comes to the flat.
So does familiarity breed contempt or just acceptance?
For the first time in a long time i lost my temper on the phone talking to our landlord. Its become obvious that any mutual respect that ever existed has gone so now its time to shout.

The Easiest Person To Lose Contact With

is me. I promise to make more of an effort. A text, email or message can go a long way.

Walking To Do

Walking
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

- Went to York on thursday. Good to get out of Leeds. Would be a cool place to live.
- Might (fingers crossed) have a job really soon.
- Katherine starts a job on tuesday.
- Bike riding is faster than walking.

If i didn't have bad luck i'd have no luck at all

Thats right this week has been pretty shit but you don't want to read about that.
So, some good things happened too, including
- Finding out OK Comics had sold all my zines and that they wanted more.
- Issue 1 should also be up on www.littlepaperplanes.com really soon.
- Issue 2 is about to go into 'the making-of' stages.
- Finding my skeleton gloves just in time for halloween.
- Riding into town on my fixie.
Talking of bikes, i'm not sure what the student population of Leeds make of me as i pass them. I've seen the usual stares but also a lot of other cyclists having a good look and trying to figure out what i'm riding. On Tuesday i rode from Headingley to Crown Point and back, coming back up the hill infront of the Met i thought i was gonna puke. My lungs, throat and mouth were on fire and my legs were jelly. By the time i got home i could barely walk up the stairs to the flat. It felt amazing. Then yesterday went into town to hand a job application in and on the way back went so fast it was scary.
If anyone reading this has bought issue one of the zine then feedback would be greatly appreciated. You don't have to give your name and i won't reply if you don't want me too, i could just do with any suggestions or comments become issue two comes out in a month.
One last point if you ever buy a new oven don't go to Curry's. They take a week to deliver the thing and then when it finally turns up they refuse to carry the thing up the stairs to where you live. Even though thats what they're paid to do. Lazy fuckers.

*

*
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Here she is, riding this bike feels awesome. Today i've been into Leeds and Headingley and back. Blasting past the stationary traffic is a weird feeling cause its easier to go faster and keep going than it is to stop and a few drivers were less than impressed at me weaving in and out near their precious cars. I'm slowly getting used to being strapped onto the pedals but have to say the best thing is the speed, i haven't got anywhere near top speed yet and already i'm over taking cars going thru 30mph speed cameras.

Other things in life are up and down as always. The roof on our building is leaking so we have damp patches on one wall growing by the day, Katherines driving is getting better every time she goes out, i'm getting more thanks but no thanks responces from jobs but at last we can access the internet from the flat. Sorry to whoever Leon is for leaching his internet connection.

Road Trip

Me and Katherine are off on a little trip today, down to Mansfield and back to hopefully pick up my new fixed gear bike. I've seen the before conversion photos but not the after shots yet so am looking forward to finally seeing the finished article and then get to ride the f**ker!
Ofcourse photos will be posted very soon on flickr.

Say something clever...

EmptySpace2
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Issue Two of PaperThin zine will be called "Once more with feeling" and should be available late November.
I've been searching Flickr a lot recently (the host of the photos, like the one above, click to go to my page) and there's a hell of a lot of good, even great shit on there. Check it out.

Its really cold in out flat

Has anyone else out there noticed that people who try to be cool rarely are? Everyone is kinda cool in their own way except the people who put other down for not fitting their ideal of 'cool'.
I know at least one person reading this will think its sappy rubbish but shit like this is on my mind all the time and it fucks me over. A lot. With the influx of freshers into Leeds recently i've been forced to ask some questions, more often than not,
"What were they thinking when they thought wearing THAT would be a good idea?"
This pisses me off, not for reasons of fashion, but because i fall into the trap of judging others who aren't into the same shit as me. Now and again i have my reasons, i've overheard people shit-talking about me when i've had headphones in and they thought i couldn't hear and it hurts, even though they were stuck-up bitches.
It applies to everything eventually. Some people can't understand why others ride bikes, or choose to spend £50 getting shitfaced in a club every night or never eat meat. As for me, i'm pretty happy with who i am. I do wish somethings in my life were different, for instance. That i ate vegetables, i knew more people who'd be up for wasting hours in coffee shops, that i had a job, that i stood up for myself more and that i was good at writing. At least all those things could be achieved if i could be bothered so perhaps i better add 'wish i wasn't so lazy' to the list.
Life can get too serious sometimes and all i crave is simplicity. Give me a bike, a camera, my ipod and Katherine and i'd be happy.
So after all that i'm not sure if i'm cool or not. Its not going to bother me either way. Probably.

Paperthin Zine Issue 1 (front cover)

Paperthin Zine Issue 1 (front cover)
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Five things

1. Why aren't clothes made pre-worn so they feel natural the first time you wear them?
2. Saltaire is actually a really nice place.
3. No matter how low expectations are rejections always hurt.
4. Why am i always interested in things that are the hardest to find. i.e try to find a 1970's era road bike instead of being happy with a new one.
5. Being sick in the night, makes you really tired the next morning.

Btw if anyone does know of a decent road bike kicking around please get in contact.

I'm actually a photographer

I have sold two zines! This is the first time anyone has exchanged money for my work. I have over a dozen still left for anyone interested, once their sold thats it...all gone.
I've also started as a photographer for an art project in Leeds. Its exactly the kind of thing i had visions of doing so just hope i don't let anyone down. The first session/shoot was on wednesday and that went well so keep an eye out for 'Knot Just Us' in the future.

Talking but not telling secrets

The zine is complete and ready for ya'll. For details email paperthin.ben@googlemail.com. There is a small charge of £1 but postage is free to anywhere in the world!

Stolen words are easier to write

"When people start to meditate or to work with any kind of spiritual discipline, they often think that somehow they're going to improve, which is a sort of subtle aggression against who they really are. ... But loving-kindness --- maitri --- toward ourselves doesn't mean getting rid of anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to change ourselves. Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That's the ground, that's what we study, that's what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest." - Pem Chondron

I found this on the website www.makinghappy.com She quoted it from somewhere else and now i stole it. I like it and think it makes sense.
At the moment i'm having job interviews, filling in application forms for commissions, jobs and award schemes and still finding time to drink a gallon of coffee a day.
I've also started reading books again, like fiction books i mean. Currently i'm into one about the New York art scene. The last thing thats taking up my spare time is producing my zine that will drop in a couple of weeks at the lastest. It being the first and launch issue it will probably be free of charge to those who want one.



If anyone is reading this leave a comment, just saying the word "Brazil" thank you.

Is flatland 'extreme' in any sense of the word?

demo001
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

b


Yesterday Phil Dolan and Jason Forde from London did a Bmx flatland demo outside the Royal Armouries in Leeds, MC'ed by Vince aka Mr Mouth. The floor on which they had to ride was shocking but the riding was amazing. I've never been so inspired to ride but wouldn't you know it after all the beautiful weather its raining today.
Using my girls digital camera i shot loads and have uploaded 20 on to my flickr account.

Landlords are more evil than accountants

Its been two weeks of crazyness since my last post.
Last week one of my Grandmas passed away. Life has been completely upside down since and i'm still not sure i'm back to normal yet.
Moving in has had its fair share of problems including the bank paying my rent twice, landlords lying to us every time we talk with them, some of the flat being incredibly dirty when we moved in and being threatened with legal action because the previous tenents decided not to pay their bills. Most of that thankfully has been resolved and we've even been promised that the painter is starting work tomorrow.
As some of you may understand i haven't felt like taking many photos recently. I had a portfolio review at Pavilion in Leeds and got some positive advice. As soon as i get a paycheck coming in on a regular basis i'm planning on setting up a temp darkroom in our tiny bathroom to see if i can get some prints produced.
There will be some more photos soon.
Probably.