So very scared.

I try my best but sometimes I fall short of where I want to be. Today I failed but will do all I can to stop it happening again.


Adventure. I would love to do something like this but in a way it's also my worst nightmare.

All the trick 'n treater's have gone away and I still have half a bowl of marshmellows, oh well time to fire up the gas hob.

Sandy

Floor it.

When I was finialising my plans for the trip to Belgium, it was important to get the right people on board and to find a date when we were all available. It came down to two weekends in October, both of which had Superprestige races happening on the Sunday. In the end we went earlier rather than later, this weekend was the other option manly because of the race in Zonhoven. Having just finished watching today's race it's obvious it would have been a cracker to be at but I have no regrets only ambition to be back there as soon as possible. The course is unusual, as it seems to be located in a huge sandpit. The action usually centres around a very steep sand descent that claims it's fair share of riders who are unlucky enough to come unstuck. Bart Aernouts came off the worst today but still finished the race, which was won by Niels Albert who rode away from everyone on lap one never to be seen again.

This is simply insane;


Had another chilled out Sunday, even got some D.I.Y completed, when it comes to home-improvement I'd rather get someone who knows what they're doing but I can now add minor electrics to my lists of can do's.
Tomorrow I have another list of things to do but out and about not at home. Hopefully it includes a minor improvement to one of my bikes.

Recap, for those at the back.

Back to emo.

Who knows when it starts but sooner or later we all change ourselves to fit into the situation our lives have become, simply to make it all more bearable or to forget the truth we don't want to accept.
The other night I had a proper 'monk on', it wasn't a particularly bad day but just something had a left a bad taste. It took some thinking and blasting music from my past to remind me of a couple of important facts, especially as I was also told today;
"Any day you wake up can't be that bad."
There are more important things in life than petty worries about materialistic bullshit.

Interesting.

A cool insight into the effect of mileage on different riders.

Now.

Take me here now.

So...

Here are a few things I've been thinking or doing over the last couple of days;

Half thought I might be coming down with something because I've been so exhausted after work but then sleeping for 12 hours last night seems to have done the trick.
Didn't race today because I couldn't get myself there. Trying to think long term when it comes to racing without getting ahead of myself, now just want to keep off road skills going and mindset ready for a few more efforts before the season changes again.
Have been riding my hack to work. The Bob Jackson is in the spare room for the Winter, the Speedster is in Audax mode and playing about with the idea of a massive mod to the 'cross bike.
It's our first day off together in a while tomorrow, one objective is to look at suits. I want to look like it belongs on me rather than a monkey kicked through Top Shop.
Shot a roll of film in my beloved OM-1 today, all at F1.8. Going back to playing with depth of field and doing stuff that makes me happy.
Watched today's World Cup race whilst eating home-made guacamole and drinking one of those famous Belgian beers. The best thing was all the highlights of the Junior and U23 races - those kids just go right from the gun and don't look back.

Just following orders.

I've just read these words; Anyone can be cool - being awesome takes practice. I personally couldn't agree more, it's never been easier to align yourself with the latest trend without ever understanding it and this can lead to once obscure interests becoming 'watered down' to better fit in with the mainstream world.
A great example is bands who start small then get big. I have a friend who thinks the first album from any band is the best and all others after aren't worth listening to, I'm not so sure on that one but I love bands who did a few albums etc but then split or just don't exist anymore. This means they can't spoil what made them great for me in the first place. One in particular that springs to mind is "Small Brown Bike", they can do no wrong because they're not around anymore. Their music will always mean something to me I can't really explain - it's the sort of stuff I listen to now when I've had a day where all I wanted to do was swear at folk but shut my mouth instead.
I can come up with so many bands that have gone the other way but there's no use being negative all the time.

+1
The first Condor bikes arriving in the shop.
Knowing people on the inside.
Tips on DVD quality footage.
Maybe planning another trip sooner than I thought.
Genuine people.
Shimano.

-1
Getting dicked around.
Seeing what I love to do change.

What actually matters.

I could write about meeting the great Freddy Maertens, the swag I brought back from Belgium, future bike plans or the big-ring riding I did this weekend but at the moment the thing I'm most proud of is last night I was asked to be a Godparent to the youngest member of my family.
That is all.

Lastly.

True story.

Today I changed a rear inner tube on a Pinarello BMX and then straight away another inner tube on a Time RXRS Ulteam road bike - the first weighed probably twice that of the Time although by the owners description of the road bike it has some faults - it rattles your teeth out under 20mph and after a 140 mile ride last week it left him limp.

What goes up must come down

Straight back there.

Watch more video of European Cyclocross 2011/ 2012 on cyclingdirt.org

Centrum Ronde van Vlaanderen

Action

These kids could race:


We saw the start of this race but couldn't stick around without risking the ferry:


It's strange seeing the course on the screen and knowing exactly what it was like on the day, Euro courses are so much harder when you see them in the flesh.

Back with stories to tell.

Guess where I was at the weekend

Everything will come out soon enough.

Stoemper

SF.

Now we know.

I think I know what it is now. I don't like people talking for me or like they know me without actually knowing who I am. When this happens, instead of lashing out I retire into myself and become more private. The major problem of this is I become a hermit in my own life and I don't like that. As I said to someone earlier today,
"I neither forget or forgive."
So, this weekend I'm mentally and physically out of the office.

Points mean prizes.

Yesterday morning I was questioning why I want to race my bike, then I went and did my first 'cross race of the season and remembered why.
From my point of view I had a really good race - slow start, didn't blow up half way through, picked up a couple of places each lap, only started to suffer on the last lap, had a minor mechanical on one of the very last corners when I rolled a tub but didn't panic, popped it back on and finished the race 36th out of 53 starters. The worst thing was feeling dehydrated because it was so hot but my bike handling was spot on when it needed to be. I have a few things I can learn from and improve but that's what it's all about.
This morning I got up and got out for a recovery ride, and last ride of the year, on the Bob Jackson. Caught up with a good friend and then filled in everyone at work with what happened during my race.
Now time to turn my attention else where...