not done this in a while...

A little about me.
Somethings have always been true and some have only recently been discovered.

I get nervous.
Or more accurately I tend to have nervous thoughts about almost everything in life.
I once read that you only get nervous about things that matter to you, which I like to think means I only do things in my life that I care about.
Or I just worry too much.

I am stronger than I look. I have not found my limit on strength/perceiverance. With road cycling, and especially climbing, I thought I enjoyed the suffering, but actually the pleasure comes from overcoming the challenge, not the pain in doing so.

Teamwork is becoming a large part of cycling too. It doesn't matter if you're first or last everyone puts the same amount of effort in, looks out for each other, helps when needed or asked.

I have an inability to receive compliments. Yet, I love it when my hard work and effort is recognised in a positive way.

There are people in my life I would happily take a bullet for and at the same time there are others who I would shoot myself.

Inspiration is my biggest motivation. Speed is in the top 5, so is fear.

I find it hard to say the things that matter to the people that matter the most. I rely on my actions speaking for me too much.

I like to have 'nice' things, but don't like it when others judge you for having 'nice' things.



A little points system to finish off:
+1

Tattoos of Birds.
The countryside.
Getting free upgrades in a 4* hotel.
New opportunities.
Spring.

-1

Knowing you could have done more.
Bills.

This is Brian...

This is Brian...
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

I will be doing a little work with him over the Summer.

!

Katherine got the job she really wanted! This means she can finally leave her current position and start something she enjoys, and it's 9 til 5 so no more shift work!



"There will always be someone with better gear than you, as long as you have more enthusiasm that's all that matters"

When you need advice on something go to a person that knows what they are talking about. I have had enough of people telling me their opinions like it's the gospel, it's time for some selective hearing.

Weekend Update.

"Can you hear it?
Are you sleeping? Or are you not at home, or are you not alone?"

Friday and Saturday was the Artists' Book Fair in Leeds. All in all, successful and worth doing. Had a couple of cracking nights with friends and family too, topped off with a night on the sofa at my parent's.

Sunday we went over to Manchester and spent most of the day in the velodrome. I had two hours on the track, the first was very painful and a reminder I hadn't ridden the track in months. The second hour was a lot better. I rode in a paceline for the first time on the track and even had the legs for some out of the saddle sprints.
As an added bonus I got my 'Blue slip', which means I can attend the improver sessions and learn skills that mean I will be actually working towards my accreditation.

Artists' Book Fair

It's the 12th Contemporary Artists' Book Fair tomorrow and Saturday, hosted again at Leeds Uni in the Parkinson Building. I have a shared table and will be selling my own work as well as dropping the collaborative project, "Why My Bike" book and spokecards.

Everyone is welcome.

They've got a lot more up their sleeves besides a dirty arm. Remember that.

I've started reading 'On The Road' by Jack Kerouac again. I brought it back from SF last year but couldn't get into deeply enough to stick with it. My interest in the written word has increased as my efforts to produce my own work continue, my hunger for information and inspiration have found me searching many different styles of writing. Maybe my appetite for Kerouac's words is because of a steady diet of cycling literature. True stories based on facts are what interest me, and what I really want to write about but like my in photography, I feel like taking my own angle on actual events works better for me.

Another thing, I've been thinking about is being myself might actually be working for me. It sounds silly and obvious to write that but recently someone had a go at me for several stupid reasons, all of which boiled down to a slight jealously of how I live and act. I live my life how I want and never purposefully hurt or deceive. Why should I change that just because other people don't or can't live their own life without introducing drama at every turn. When you are yourself, the opportunities that come your way are the right ones to follow. If you're trying to be someone else then nothing will ever bring satisfaction to your life.

Also I really want more meaningful tattoos. I already know the design and location of the next one, just waiting to go back to America, or even better SF.

(Possibly) The Most Amazing Opportunity of 2009.

And I'm not saying anything until it's confirmed and definite.