how do you live life, as if life itself was some kind of gift?

Some things can get really complicated. I wish they didn't, but it looks like renting a place to live in York is turning into one of those things. We're stuck in an awkward position. We're trying to get a job in York but because we don't live there it's hard to be considered seriously, but because we don't have a job yet we can barely afford to move to York and then find a job once we're there. See it's even complicated trying to write an explanation.

paper memories

I sometimes feel I ought to be taking more photographs in and around my parental home. It won't be long before I'm moved on to pastures new again and it would be nice to have some paper memories to go over from time to time.
Ok, I've just copyrighted the phrase "paper memories", I thought of it first. But seriously I've been realising that a lot of my reasons for being a photographer or lens-based artist (thats fancy 'fine-art' terminology, don't y' know) centre around capturing moments and memories, so I can look back and see where I've been and the things and people that I knew. I'm not saying this is a bad reason, just that it is my reason.

When one thing ends, another begins

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

I love being busy. When I'm up against a deadline or when tasks are mounting up around me I thrive. When I can work at an easy pace nothing seems to get done.
One thing about my tendency to have an overactive thought process means that I usually consider every little detail in a problem but the downside to this is theres no room for anything else. I have been writing statements, proposals and everything in between for the last few days and just as I finish one lot I find out about more that are due to hand in, in the next week or so, and so the process starts over again.
Another aspect of being busy that I love is that free time becomes so much more enjoyable. Something as simple as playing frisbee becomes priceless instead of a waste of time.
Having tasted success recently I am hungry for more. For every exhibition I am accepted into I apply for two more and every time I hope that it might be the first time someone will buy a piece of my work. A lot of my work is very personal and therefore I don't produce work specifically for the purpose of selling but knowing that there are people thinking the same as me is extremely encouraging.

blue

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

this feels like it was yesterday

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

going nowhere

we're not moving to Sheffield.

how long can inexperience be a reason?

is it not common sense that if someone is lacking experience then it means they will stay that way until somebody gives them a chance? if no-one is willing to take the first step we're all doomed.

believe

This morning I went along to a selection meeting for an exhibition thats happening next month. As usually happens I got pretty nervous and then afterwards had a complete loss of confidence. So much so that I convinced myself I'd blown any chance of being included.
Imagine my surprise when about five minutes ago I receive an email saying the two pieces I took to the meeting have been accepted but also they want two more as well because they would prefer to show a series of four!

I think my problem stems from a basic lack of confidence and coupled with my over-active imagination/thought processes I can talk myself out of pretty much anything. The more I seem to put my work out there, the more positive feedback I receive, yet its hard for me to truly believe. There's a point when modesty does you no favors, obviously arrogance is worse but under-selling yourself can be just as damaging.

All my life people have told me you don't get anywhere if you don't ask or try, gradually I'm seeing how true that is.

blog or blag

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

some days I feel like everything is completely out of focus

unprofessional behaviour

I went for a job interview today, well actually two interviews, one I'm not too bothered about and one I almost got on my knees and begged for the job. By middle of next week I should have a clearer idea of my immediate future.

Katherine's living it up southern style for the weekend, so if weather forcasts are correct for this weekend I think I'm just gonna lay in the garden and soak up the sun (and most likely burn).
Yesterday I went for a ride from Rodley to Saltaire along the towpath. On a fixed gear its more like running than cycling. All told about 15 miles and no pain in legs so must be getting used it again.

just window shopping

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Making plans is asking for trouble. Sometimes they are blown out of the water by something that you never saw coming and sometimes a chain reaction begins from an event so small you hardly gave it a second thought.
Maybe the solution to the whole thing is to live life 'in the moment' but this method also has its drawbacks.
Responsibility pretty much kills any chance of living day to day as more often than not the days have a routine. At the moment I'm longing for some kind of routine in my life, I'm sleeping about 10-11 hours a night, which makes me feel like crap when I get up. For the first time in a while I'm applying for a job that I really, really want.
On a completely random note, I've started making my own iced-coffees at home. They're still in the experimental stages but I'm enjoying the testing.

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

The search begins

Yesterday was our first day examining property in York. We only had a few viewings and the first was a large two bed terrace. Not really what we were looking for and made worse by the over-powering smell of dog piss everywhere. Next was a 'compact' cottage, when estate agents use the word compact it basically means tiny to you and me. Although it was full of character I could have probably stood in the middle of each room and touched all four walls.
We finished up with a couple of flats that were either completely unfinished or too posh. So although we didn't find anywhere we want to live we have a better idea of the areas and kind of place we want to end up in.

I like flying in...

..little paper planes.

http://www.littlepaperplanes.com/artistworks.php?artist=Paper%20Thin

Now!

Elysee - All Photographers Now!
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin.

Paper Thin going worldwide....or at least as far as Switzerland.

Nails in the coffin

Today we might have finally taken the last step in being able to say goodbye to 34 Grange Court. All the bills have been paid, confirmation given to landlords so bond money should be in the post in next few days.

Keeping all my fingers crossed about hearing back from a job in York but at the same time trying not to dwell on it.
I have always wanted to be one of those people that live for the 'journey' in life rather than the 'destination' but recently I've found myself observing life instead of living it. Living back at home has made it feel like I'm on pause. Being comfortable is like being numb, you're aware of the problem but its not hurting enough to do something about it. When we were living alone things got pretty rough but at the same time it felt good to be out there doing stuff.

Spring time has brought sunshine, which means riding! Met Mark for the first time in months yesterday, and although we didn't exactly strain ourselves learning new tricks it felt great to be out rolling again. Didn't feel too bad either this morning so muscles must be starting to remember their job too.