Disappointment.

This morning I was too ill to ride the last cycling event of my season. When I made the decision to stay home I immediately felt a little better, then when I went back to bed I almost got back up and tried again to leave. It's a mysterious process. The same as when you get dropped from a fast group you are struggling to hold onto, you see the wheel move in front and know you need to hold on even when your whole body is screaming to quit. If you listen and give in, the second you do you feel instantly better but try to kick again to catch up and the body doesn't even work. By giving in you get the relief you crave but also the gut wrenching feeling of what might have been.
So not only am I ill today but I have the 'what might have been' about an event I was really looking forward to and hoping to do well in.