Clifton CC Road Race.

I photographed my cycling club's road race yesterday. It took place on a course I have ridden this year in a couple of time trials, all heavy roads with no place to recover before the next effort is upon you. I have nothing but respect for every rider that took part. Maybe next year I might be taking part myself.

And Another.

What an experience.

Sunday

Riding 145 miles. Climbing a lot of big hills. In the saddle for 11 hours.

Monday

Full body massage by a Sports Therapist.


Two things I have never done before in my life, two things I want to do again.

Never been to Belgium...

... but this morning I found myself riding there. As I turned from the hills north of York towards the City, I found myself riding across the flat stretch of land before me, underneath a sky that had clouds stacked up like a grey blanket. Along forgotten country lanes known only by locals, the smell of freshly turned earth hanging on the breeze and the only sounds being tractors toiling in the fields.
My training ride had gone well, on my return journey the wind was against me so a little more effort was required. In the drops, watching the road rush under my wheels, I had images of Spring races in Belgium and Northern France in my mind. For a short while I was lost in a place I'd never seen, as I continued the Britishness of my surroundings slowly awoke me from my European daydream.

The Summer so far...

Ain't no holla back girl.

Don't be a victim of life.

I like the 'world' I live in. The things I give the most importance may not work for everyone but they do for me. I am starting a new agenda of only giving time to real issues, concentrating on things I can change and that are actually happening, rather than imaginary problems I create for myself.

I know someone who blames all their problems on other people, constantly complains about how their life would be different if they had the chances of others and generally lives a restricted existence bound by their past decisions, while taking none of the responsibility. They bore me, and frustrate me that there are actually still people who are so self-obsessed they put themselves and their petty, self pity above those with real issues in life.

It always reminds me on a Diane Arbus quote:

"Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats."
Diane Arbus

What I learnt today.

Life is too short for shit food.

To not let bad news destroy me.

To take advice from the right people.

Everything happens for a reason.

I am a damn fine cook.

Panning.

Jeremy Hunt heading for the win.
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

The thrill of a photograph turning out exactly how you wanted it to never gets old.

Click the photo to see more from the Otley races, from earlier in the Summer.

If it's outside Yorkshire, it's not worth visiting..

Getting away with it.

It feels wrong but so right to only work for half the day. Getting to eat your packed lunch at home, a shower in the middle of the day, getting the boring stuff out of the way before the other half comes home and playing music too loud because all the neighbours are out.

I ask myself all the big questions, every Sunday.

Ask Katherine. She will tell you about my obsession.
With bicycles.
It's true to a certain extent but not the whole story. It could be said I have a pretty fastidious personality, and thrive at attention to detail but combine this with my ability to doubt every decision I make, and I sometimes find myself going round and round about the simplest task.
This is where bikes help. For all the hours I could spend mulling over paint choices, which wheels to run and the negatives associated with wearing kit that doesn't match, all it takes is five minutes riding to blow everything out of my head. Yesterday's ride made me forget all the problems encountered during a week of work and just now fifteen minutes on the rollers was all it took to convince myself that my worries were too petty to bother with.
All the riding I do has one thing in common. It's fun. Whether it be BMX, riding myself into the ground during training or a simple cafe run. When I start racing it will be on my own terms and is sure to be a lot of fun but maybe the hardest thing I will have done so far.

In my life right now, I am happy. There are things I want to change and opportunities are presenting themselves. I know the people who I should listen to and those who might not have my best interests at heart. There isn't long before Katherine and I go to Italy, which is going to be a 'bike-free week' and an immersion into Italian culture. My money is looking after itself, I have enough to pay my way but not too much to waste or that is burning a hole in my pocket.

Time for a coffee I think.

Brother From Another Mother.

Starting to know the meaning of this phrase a bit clearer recently. It was funny to see you not get your own way for a change, and all because if a girl! Let's face it Ikea wasn't that bad anyway.

Recently had a big 'family do' with some both close and far relatives. Sitting down with those closest to me, listening to the laughter of children and eating enough bbq food to feed a large army... I longed for nothing in life. It made me feel like issues such as career and money mean absolutely nothing compared to family and happiness. This is where I am slowly changing as I get older. I have never wanted to be rich but have had a greedy streak that means I will milk an opportunity for all it is worth. I have no debt and owe nobody anything except the help in return for what has been done already, as long as I am able to provide for my own family I desire nothing more than I need.
To some people this will sound like a lack of ambition, but I want to be the best at what I do, just not make millions in the process. I am a practical person, at school I wanted to be a carpenter/craftman but I had the intellect to go further. At college I explored what it was like to be creative, but have found creativity not necessarily a career path. I am coming full circle with my desire to work with my hands, problem solve and see things take shape in front of me, and develop a set of skills that will last me throughout my entire working life.
I am ready for the hard work it takes to make dreams a reality, and I am already taking the small steps on the road to where I want to be.

If you hit the king, you have to kill him.

And if you have a job interview you have to nail it, instead of forgetting everything you ever knew because of nervousness.

P.B

Two personal bests in a row in the Thursday TT's and then third place in yesterdays 5 mile TT. Starting to think my obsession is giving me some rewards.
Hopefully opportunities near at hand, will help me flesh out the finer details of the coming year. Could be amazing.

Everything's a mystery until it's explained.

I built my first bike wheel today. Now I want to do more.

Comfortable with the path I had taken.

Had a solo ride today in the Howardian Hills. Whoever told me York was flat hadn't been to Castle Howard and surrounding area. Not riding in a group for a change took away the hyper-awareness you need to have for those around you, so I found myself drifting along listening to the sound of wheels on road, chain running through gears and generally day-dreaming.
It all reminded me what an escape riding can be. You don't actually think about anything yet you are conscious of almost everything. Pain ,and effort in relation to incline, usually occupies a lot of headspace but normally life altering decisions can be made on a decent solo run, without the knowledge of how the decision had been reached.

A Repeat.

Bad things happen to good people far too often.

In other parts of the world there are still people who are willing to help others without expecting anything in return. This fact, and when I experience that feeling, keep me going.

Radio Silence.

The lack of entries reflects the lack of time I have rather than the lack of things to write about.

Still don't have enough time now though.

It's easy to say what you want to believe.

Too many people talk too much. At least with my problem of 'over-thinking' I don't burden anyone else with all the crap that floats around my head.

The weather man said today was "Sunshine and showers" and I thought BMX weather. The type of day where the ground just about dries up enough to ride only to rain again. Meaning instead of riding, you just sit around under cover of the nearest shelter, and talk shit and drink Coke. Those were the days.
Now I actually ride in the rain, and most of the time enjoy it. The sting of rain blown on a headwind, spray from the wheel in front, clothes getting wet only to be dry again after five minutes. It makes every mile a fight, and one that is so satisfying to win.