Comfortable with the path I had taken.

Had a solo ride today in the Howardian Hills. Whoever told me York was flat hadn't been to Castle Howard and surrounding area. Not riding in a group for a change took away the hyper-awareness you need to have for those around you, so I found myself drifting along listening to the sound of wheels on road, chain running through gears and generally day-dreaming.
It all reminded me what an escape riding can be. You don't actually think about anything yet you are conscious of almost everything. Pain ,and effort in relation to incline, usually occupies a lot of headspace but normally life altering decisions can be made on a decent solo run, without the knowledge of how the decision had been reached.

A Repeat.

Bad things happen to good people far too often.

In other parts of the world there are still people who are willing to help others without expecting anything in return. This fact, and when I experience that feeling, keep me going.

Radio Silence.

The lack of entries reflects the lack of time I have rather than the lack of things to write about.

Still don't have enough time now though.

It's easy to say what you want to believe.

Too many people talk too much. At least with my problem of 'over-thinking' I don't burden anyone else with all the crap that floats around my head.

The weather man said today was "Sunshine and showers" and I thought BMX weather. The type of day where the ground just about dries up enough to ride only to rain again. Meaning instead of riding, you just sit around under cover of the nearest shelter, and talk shit and drink Coke. Those were the days.
Now I actually ride in the rain, and most of the time enjoy it. The sting of rain blown on a headwind, spray from the wheel in front, clothes getting wet only to be dry again after five minutes. It makes every mile a fight, and one that is so satisfying to win.

Ryedale GP

Ryedale GP
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

More photos on Flickr

(click on image)

All I do is think.

It's coming up to that time of year where I should have been in full-on preparation mode for the event I was meant to be part of. Unfortunately it has been postponed for a year, so I am left feeling slightly uneasy about whats happening next.
Apparently more twenty somethings are experiencing a early mid-life crisis because of the pressure to find a career, and the sheer amount of money needed to survive these days. I don't think I'm quite at that stage yet but I have been questioning a lot of aspects of my life and not finding many answers. I have a longing for satisfaction in employment, simple things done well, feeling comfortable with people around me and opportunities that actually happen.
Anyone who has read this blog before may have noticed the lack of words dedicated to my photography. That is because it has been a subject with which I have been struggling to find the time to properly do anything. It's on my list of things to change...

points system:

+1

The weather recently
Charlie Kaufman
Boiled eggs, toast and tea.

-1

Sunburn
Repeatitive pointless tasks

I'm in peices.

And there is only one person who can put me back together.

Just Trying To Lead A Stress Free Life

The words muttered by Issac McCrea, during the closing credits of 'Standard Country'. They have been ringing in my ears for the last day or so. Also I have been all too aware that my mood effects the people around me and in turn, theirs can impact on me too. So I am doing as the title suggests for a change, basically living how I want and without negatively affecting others.

Another bit of advice floated into my head too, which I will end on for today,

There's no excuse for being a dick.

What's passed.

Another TT.
Werk.
Eating pizza in a van.
Saturday clubrun.
Walk into town.
Watch the Giro.
Hill repeat session.
Cooking.

Don't let the black cloud get you down.

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

Perhaps you think it's just another fight to the death.

It's an awesome feeling when things go right. Everyday I see people rushing tasks, and taking twice as long to finish something simply because they have to do it more than once to get it right. I prefer the 'do it once and do it properly' method, doing something calmly and thoroughly often takes less time and means your mind doesn't get clouded with the ten things you were trying to do all at once. The other day I was called fastidious. I took it as a compliment, all I know is when I just changed the tires on my road bike I made sure the valves lined up with the logos on each wheel, and I know when I see that little detail in the future I'll be very happy with my attention to detail.

My birthday weekend went swimmingly. Great surroundings, great company, great food including the new discovery of Lemon Macaroons from Betty's, 95p a pop but worth it for a treat now and again.

Time Flies...

This week,

-I have been successfully avoiding watching TV.
-Getting up at 7am.
-Licking my wounds, after a commuting bike-on-bike crash.

By the time I write again I will have turned 25, had a night away in a B+B in the Yorkshire Dales and had a family meal in an amazing Italian restaurant.

Don't judge a book by it's cover.

No-one should ever presume to 'know' anyone just because of how they look, or from one or two snippets of information. It takes time to let people reveal themselves for who they truly want to be, they will have faults and hopefully charms too, we are all complicated individuals and we all deserve to find like minded company to share our lives with.

37.32

Hard work all the way.

A pursuit of craft.

This time of year always makes my mind recap what has happened in the past year. It's not that I think turning 25 is a landmark. It's something I do every birthday. This isn't the place to discuss such thoughts but I think it's safe to say the last year has been a good one overall, yet not much has changed. The next year holds a couple of interesting opportunities and maybe some decisions that need making. All in all, as it says in the film, I am prepared for amazing things to happen.


I have been looking at the Vanilla Bicycles website a lot in the last couple of days, below is a link to a cool video made about Vanilla. The business model this guy is following is a brave one, and I can't help but respect him for what he's achieving without compromising on what he believes.

http://www.vanillabicycles.com/about/butteredmuffin.shtml


In other cycling news, I rode my first 'century' at the weekend. Did the Sunday clubrun out over the North Yorkshire Moors, so it wasn't exactly an easy 100 miles but so satisfying. Next week it's my first time trial and the prediction of more pain.

I wouldn't want to come from anywhere else.

A lot of things were discussed this weekend, some really not good either. In fact my belief that bad things will happen to good people was brutally confirmed, the only way to get through the tough times though is not to sink to 'their' level and stay true to who you are. The hardest part is admitting responsibility for the mistakes you made and not letting what has gone before make you weak for the fight that lies ahead.

To cut a long story short, my family are very important to me. If needed I consider revenge to be an acceptable course of action, if the situation ever arose.

Not as fun as someone thought it would be.

What not to do on a Friday night.
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

We will learn from our mistakes.

French Fancies.

I woke up this morning in a shit mood.

Spent all day in a shit mood.

But sometimes the smallest thing can totally snap me out of it. I came home to two things in the post, the first was a postcard from a friend's holiday adventures. The second was two french newspapers sent by my girlfriend's Aunt. I had previously asked for them to read first-hand the coverage of this years Spring Classics.

Little things, which show there are people out there who still take the time to think of others, instead of the usual drama and bullshit I can't avoid at the moment.



"I've never had a dream in my life,
because a dream is what you want to do
but still haven't pursued.
I knew what I wanted
And did it till it was done.
So I've been the dream I wanted to be from day one."

Aesop Rock - 'Lucy'

On a Sunday.

I fancied a change of pace today, so took the chance for a stroll into town. Sometimes when you live in York it's easy to grow accustomed to the surroundings and not fully appreciate what is on your own doorstep. Watching the tourists on any given weekend brings it back to me, the sheer number of people who take trips here is amazing. In other cities I have lived, the town centre would be busy with local shoppers and people hanging out, but York has this and more. Maybe it's the history and architecture or just the atmosphere of the place, which draws people in.
The trick is to go into town early before the stag/hen party crowds wake up to walk off their hangovers from the night before. I don't have a lot of spare money at the moment but I did treat myself to coffee and french toast in the cinema bar, overlooking the river in the sunshine, it was only lack of my favourite person that spoilt an otherwise great morning.
So, now I'm back home, it's a lovely Spring day but after yesterdays ride my body is not up for another several hours in the saddle. The next best thing then is to watch some cycling, another Spring Classic the "Amstel Gold Race". Maybe later a quick spin of the legs down to the river with the other half to enjoy the last of the weekend, before being back to full time hours at work starting tomorrow.

Have you suffered, starved and triumphed, grovelled down yet grasped at glory, grown bigger in the bigness of the whole?

The Call of the Wild – Jack London

What a weekend. Almost did my first century ride by accident yesterday, 90 miles door to door on a clubrun up to Masham from York. I actually felt really strong throughout the whole ride but especially when we set off from the cafe after lunch. The road out of Masham climbed steadily and consistently, and encouraged you to ride hard. It's definitely an area I want to ride and explore more this Summer, perhaps even making a weekend of it.
Today I watched Paris-Roubaix 'live' for the first time, through the wonders of the internet. In a classic case of keeping your head while all about you lose their's, Tom Boonen won in fine style. When he punctured in the lead group of six riders, the bike change was fast and made it look like the others had stopped riding, he was that fast getting back to them. In contrast bad luck and simple mistakes put pay to the chances of those same riders in the group with him.

So, with another dose of Spring Classics done with and hopefully enough inspiration gathered for the coming season, I'm looking forward to some miles in the sun (and wearing my Mapei jersey I just bought cheap on ebay)