I'm in peices.

And there is only one person who can put me back together.

Just Trying To Lead A Stress Free Life

The words muttered by Issac McCrea, during the closing credits of 'Standard Country'. They have been ringing in my ears for the last day or so. Also I have been all too aware that my mood effects the people around me and in turn, theirs can impact on me too. So I am doing as the title suggests for a change, basically living how I want and without negatively affecting others.

Another bit of advice floated into my head too, which I will end on for today,

There's no excuse for being a dick.

What's passed.

Another TT.
Werk.
Eating pizza in a van.
Saturday clubrun.
Walk into town.
Watch the Giro.
Hill repeat session.
Cooking.

Don't let the black cloud get you down.

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

Perhaps you think it's just another fight to the death.

It's an awesome feeling when things go right. Everyday I see people rushing tasks, and taking twice as long to finish something simply because they have to do it more than once to get it right. I prefer the 'do it once and do it properly' method, doing something calmly and thoroughly often takes less time and means your mind doesn't get clouded with the ten things you were trying to do all at once. The other day I was called fastidious. I took it as a compliment, all I know is when I just changed the tires on my road bike I made sure the valves lined up with the logos on each wheel, and I know when I see that little detail in the future I'll be very happy with my attention to detail.

My birthday weekend went swimmingly. Great surroundings, great company, great food including the new discovery of Lemon Macaroons from Betty's, 95p a pop but worth it for a treat now and again.

Time Flies...

This week,

-I have been successfully avoiding watching TV.
-Getting up at 7am.
-Licking my wounds, after a commuting bike-on-bike crash.

By the time I write again I will have turned 25, had a night away in a B+B in the Yorkshire Dales and had a family meal in an amazing Italian restaurant.

Don't judge a book by it's cover.

No-one should ever presume to 'know' anyone just because of how they look, or from one or two snippets of information. It takes time to let people reveal themselves for who they truly want to be, they will have faults and hopefully charms too, we are all complicated individuals and we all deserve to find like minded company to share our lives with.

37.32

Hard work all the way.

A pursuit of craft.

This time of year always makes my mind recap what has happened in the past year. It's not that I think turning 25 is a landmark. It's something I do every birthday. This isn't the place to discuss such thoughts but I think it's safe to say the last year has been a good one overall, yet not much has changed. The next year holds a couple of interesting opportunities and maybe some decisions that need making. All in all, as it says in the film, I am prepared for amazing things to happen.


I have been looking at the Vanilla Bicycles website a lot in the last couple of days, below is a link to a cool video made about Vanilla. The business model this guy is following is a brave one, and I can't help but respect him for what he's achieving without compromising on what he believes.

http://www.vanillabicycles.com/about/butteredmuffin.shtml


In other cycling news, I rode my first 'century' at the weekend. Did the Sunday clubrun out over the North Yorkshire Moors, so it wasn't exactly an easy 100 miles but so satisfying. Next week it's my first time trial and the prediction of more pain.

I wouldn't want to come from anywhere else.

A lot of things were discussed this weekend, some really not good either. In fact my belief that bad things will happen to good people was brutally confirmed, the only way to get through the tough times though is not to sink to 'their' level and stay true to who you are. The hardest part is admitting responsibility for the mistakes you made and not letting what has gone before make you weak for the fight that lies ahead.

To cut a long story short, my family are very important to me. If needed I consider revenge to be an acceptable course of action, if the situation ever arose.

Not as fun as someone thought it would be.

What not to do on a Friday night.
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

We will learn from our mistakes.

French Fancies.

I woke up this morning in a shit mood.

Spent all day in a shit mood.

But sometimes the smallest thing can totally snap me out of it. I came home to two things in the post, the first was a postcard from a friend's holiday adventures. The second was two french newspapers sent by my girlfriend's Aunt. I had previously asked for them to read first-hand the coverage of this years Spring Classics.

Little things, which show there are people out there who still take the time to think of others, instead of the usual drama and bullshit I can't avoid at the moment.



"I've never had a dream in my life,
because a dream is what you want to do
but still haven't pursued.
I knew what I wanted
And did it till it was done.
So I've been the dream I wanted to be from day one."

Aesop Rock - 'Lucy'

On a Sunday.

I fancied a change of pace today, so took the chance for a stroll into town. Sometimes when you live in York it's easy to grow accustomed to the surroundings and not fully appreciate what is on your own doorstep. Watching the tourists on any given weekend brings it back to me, the sheer number of people who take trips here is amazing. In other cities I have lived, the town centre would be busy with local shoppers and people hanging out, but York has this and more. Maybe it's the history and architecture or just the atmosphere of the place, which draws people in.
The trick is to go into town early before the stag/hen party crowds wake up to walk off their hangovers from the night before. I don't have a lot of spare money at the moment but I did treat myself to coffee and french toast in the cinema bar, overlooking the river in the sunshine, it was only lack of my favourite person that spoilt an otherwise great morning.
So, now I'm back home, it's a lovely Spring day but after yesterdays ride my body is not up for another several hours in the saddle. The next best thing then is to watch some cycling, another Spring Classic the "Amstel Gold Race". Maybe later a quick spin of the legs down to the river with the other half to enjoy the last of the weekend, before being back to full time hours at work starting tomorrow.

Have you suffered, starved and triumphed, grovelled down yet grasped at glory, grown bigger in the bigness of the whole?

The Call of the Wild – Jack London

What a weekend. Almost did my first century ride by accident yesterday, 90 miles door to door on a clubrun up to Masham from York. I actually felt really strong throughout the whole ride but especially when we set off from the cafe after lunch. The road out of Masham climbed steadily and consistently, and encouraged you to ride hard. It's definitely an area I want to ride and explore more this Summer, perhaps even making a weekend of it.
Today I watched Paris-Roubaix 'live' for the first time, through the wonders of the internet. In a classic case of keeping your head while all about you lose their's, Tom Boonen won in fine style. When he punctured in the lead group of six riders, the bike change was fast and made it look like the others had stopped riding, he was that fast getting back to them. In contrast bad luck and simple mistakes put pay to the chances of those same riders in the group with him.

So, with another dose of Spring Classics done with and hopefully enough inspiration gathered for the coming season, I'm looking forward to some miles in the sun (and wearing my Mapei jersey I just bought cheap on ebay)

Done it.

Last night I did something that only ladies, swimmers and racing cyclists do.

And I have no regrets about it.

Edinburgh

Edinburgh
Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

We go there when it's a special occasion.

Sunday.

Originally uploaded by Paper Thin

Today was a good day.

Went out for a ride this morning, decided to give the cafe stop a miss and ended up with 50 miles including a couple of nice climbs. The photo above is taken after climbing Birdsall Bank, it is the start of a new little project about taking photos while out cycling, hopefully more to come throughout the Summer.
When I got home I went on the internet and found a french site that was streaming the final kilometers of the Tour of Flanders. Over lunch I got to watch one of my favourite riders, Stijn Devolder, win his second title in as many years. It was the first time I had managed to see any of the Classics unfold 'live', it really is edge of the seat stuff because it's a one day race there seems to be more riding on the outcome, as there is no chance to recover in another stage.

My prediction for a Belgian winner came true then. I maybe should have put a pound on the Lottery too because I put a bet on the third place horse in the Grand National this weekend.

...

It's the start of the biggest week in the cycling calender, for anyone into the one-day Classics, and what am I doing? No, not out riding in the sun but watching bad daytime films on channel 5.
Instead of riding this morning I dropped off the sum of parts that when assembled will become Katherine's new singlespeed bicycle. The rest of the day has been spent walking into York to read the cycling magazines in Borders and then getting out fast before it got too busy.
I never found a place to watch the Tour of Flanders tomorrow so I have decided ride instead. Probably just a steady trip out to the hills, with a cafe stop (as is tradition in English cycling) and hopefully end up with at least 70 miles on the clock.
My prediction for tomorrow: another Belgian winner in the Tour of Flanders.

Have you been doing much?

This is the question that is usually asked when two or more cyclists meet for a ride.
The answer varies, but normally goes along the lines of, 'not much or a little bit'.


As cyclists we are proud of the miles we rack up in search of progression but at the same time it pays to play your hand close to our chest now and again. However there is always one guy, who will swear blind he hasn't ridden in months and then proceeds to tear the legs off everyone else in the group.
And that's just another one of the little things I love about cycling.


I have just come back from the first chaingang of the year, and even though it's the slower of the two in the club, the speed never dipped below 20mph on a tight circuit with one too many corners for comfort.
On the last lap, my turns on the front were coming round a bit too fast for my liking, then the gap to the wheel in front opens, which means you worker harder than you want to just to keep up. But, you don't get dropped. You go into the red, you pull your turn, keep it smooth for the sake of those around you and hope the burning in your legs dies down just a little by the time you're next on the front.
Either that or you pray for a puncture.

not done this in a while...

A little about me.
Somethings have always been true and some have only recently been discovered.

I get nervous.
Or more accurately I tend to have nervous thoughts about almost everything in life.
I once read that you only get nervous about things that matter to you, which I like to think means I only do things in my life that I care about.
Or I just worry too much.

I am stronger than I look. I have not found my limit on strength/perceiverance. With road cycling, and especially climbing, I thought I enjoyed the suffering, but actually the pleasure comes from overcoming the challenge, not the pain in doing so.

Teamwork is becoming a large part of cycling too. It doesn't matter if you're first or last everyone puts the same amount of effort in, looks out for each other, helps when needed or asked.

I have an inability to receive compliments. Yet, I love it when my hard work and effort is recognised in a positive way.

There are people in my life I would happily take a bullet for and at the same time there are others who I would shoot myself.

Inspiration is my biggest motivation. Speed is in the top 5, so is fear.

I find it hard to say the things that matter to the people that matter the most. I rely on my actions speaking for me too much.

I like to have 'nice' things, but don't like it when others judge you for having 'nice' things.



A little points system to finish off:
+1

Tattoos of Birds.
The countryside.
Getting free upgrades in a 4* hotel.
New opportunities.
Spring.

-1

Knowing you could have done more.
Bills.